The Midnight Snack MUST List
Stardate 3.20.07
I have constructed a veritable "Must List" for all fans of garbage movies and of Midnight Snack. It is a list of movies that need to be properly "understood", and that will most probably be reviewed by the author of this web-log, if my celebrity-like schedule should allow it. Also an update on the format for future releases. All new reviews will have a link to a database of quotes (.wav files) and screencaptures from the film, in order to complete the completeness of the review (if that makes any sense...) Anyway, here goes:
Equals Against Devils---1985--- Now when you think of a martial arts film, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Why BILLIARDS of course! Yes, this (alleged) martial arts thriller is fueled by one man's quest to make it back to the top of the Hong Kong trick billiards world after being brutally disfigured by an evil rival. Don't believe the garbage that the DVD box says of the film (judging from the quality of the DVD production, I would say that they had a uniform description for every film they release).
Fists of Fury---1971--- Bruce Lee (not Bruce Le, or Bruce Li) stars in this wild, wacky tale of corruption, kissing cousins, labor disputes, and of course, the token rice-ball-selling, bright-eyed, street smart, 8 year old who gets beaten up by a group of 20-something thugs who seemingly cruise around town all day looking for people to hassle. The final assault on the "Boss's" compound is worth the price of admission (which should be so low as not to be calculable in US currency, but worth about 2 sea shells in some 3rd world nation standard.)
Tango and Cash---1989--- You know someone's career has hit on hard times when Tango and Cash is the highlight of any 5 year period, but such was the state of Sylvester Stallone's credits from 1989 to 1994. He plays Ray Tango, an intellectual stock brokering cop who is in the force only for fame and excitement. Opposite him stars(glows, maybe) Kurt Russel as the street wise and scrappy Gabe Cash. The two are constantly in a battle for headlines over who the best cop in LA is(no wonder they got in trouble in the early '90s) when suddenly they are set up by the evil Perret, played by the skeletal Jack Palance, and they are tossed in jail. In jail the two acknowledge that they must work together (through entirely unnecessary shower scences and references to homosexual acts) They team up to get back at Perret and clear their names(from at least what Perret did to them, anyway).
Rocky III---1982--- Rocky must regain the "Eye of the Tiger" after becoming a complacent champ. After getting clobbered by "Clubber" Lang (played by Mr. T), and after his trainer Mick (Burgess Meredith) dies, Rocky loses his winning spirit. But when former rival Apollo Creed steps in to train Rocky, they both get close (perhaps too close?...) and are ready to challenge for the belt. Rocky is out to prove that he is still the best (160 lb) Heavyweight in the world. *guest reviewer
More to follow....
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