Welcome, one and all, to the first weekly installment of the Midnight Snack Movie Reviews; a "web-log" consisting of my wonderful reviews of some not-so-wonderful films. As those around me may know, I have a considerable knowledge of sub-par films. I will put my knowledge to good use by helping the helpless movie-going public help themselves
This week's film: "Invisible Invaders". A 1959 anti-nuclear message film "co-starring" John Carradine and John Agar. (the film never bills a 'star'). Also playing an important part is Philip Tonge, in his final film. Tonge plays Adam Penner, an idealist nuclear research professor who turns his knowledge away from military research after his friend, Karol Noymann (Carradine) dies in a freak lab explosion.
On the night of Noymann's funeral, invisible aliens (who seem to shuffle their feet ALOT) inhabit the body of Noymann and visit the grieving Penner. Penner answers his door to find his friend standing there (looking quite good considering he died in a nuclear explosion; that mortician deserves an award of some kind). The alien warns Penner of an upcoming invasion if earth does not stop nuclear experimentation within 24 hours (suckers are in a HURRY). Penner then contacts his scientist daughter and her less-than-spectacular scientist boyfriend about the visit. They think he's crazy, but they agree to get the story out.
The following morning, all the major newspapers headline "Charges of Space Attack Branded Ridiculous". Everyone involved seems disappointed (though they managed to make headlines on all major papers within a day!).
The alien once again warns Penner that earth will have one final warning. This "warning" was a plane crash (military stock footage) and an invisible alien inhabits the body of the lifeless pilot (he was lifeless before he died, anyway). He goes to a hockey game!? (yes, we all know that if you want to get a message out to the mass public in America, you go to a hockey game)
Then the film takes a cheese-tastic turn. After the 'warnings' go unheeded, the aliens attempt to "destroy the infrastructure of the world by sabotage". At this point there is a about 10 minutes of stock footage of buildings burning down, as well as a stolen scene from the film "Thunder Road". The radio reporter quite professionally reported: "Finland and Russia were blown up!" I am particularly intrigued by the 'supply depot' in this scene. (it shows Wehrmacht soldiers putting out fires at a Nazi barracks).
The film kicks it into second gear (which for this film is about 14 MPH). The Air Force takes Adam Penner and co. to a secret bunker. (enter John Agar as the fearless Major Jay).
Agar provides the film with yet another paper thin character. On the way to the bunker they are confronted by a crazed farmer, who notes "I seen them things, seen em walkin, walkin and killin!". This pre-Romero attempt at suspense falls almost as flat as Agar's performance.
Once the crew are in their super-secret bunker, they begin conceiving a plan for stopping the 'Invisible Invaders'. The invaders inhabit the dead bodies of humans. (only dumpy white guys, apparently...). They have a lifeline to "home base", which is pretty much a general sitting at a desk with a map behind him with thumb tacks placed in random points on the map, while he is constantly being given papers.
After some fighting amongst the crew, they come up with a plan. Seal the invader in the body with a hard plastic coating. Agar goes out of the bunker, wearing a ridiculous bee-keeper suit,
on the hunt for an invader. Using his 'plastic gun' he attempts to seal the invader in, but the invader escapes the body in time and attacks Agar. (seeing him attempt to act as if he was being strangled is the worth the price of the DVD). Penner comes up with a cunning plan; dunk the invader in the solution to make instantaneous covering!Agar once again goes out invader hunting. This time he lures the same deranged farmer he shot earlier, now an alien, into a pit of the solution. (the pit is liquid, but it turns the invader solid instantly!?)
Once at the base with the invader, they conduct experiments on him. After a few laughable moments, they discover that sound is what kills them! (it makes them melt into a pile of...well you know) Using his talents for junk making, Penner constructs Sound Guns to stop the invaders. All of the crew drives out of the bunker in their pimped out International Harvester, with John Agar snugly strapped on top, and look for the mother ship. They track it down surprisingly quick, and with a quick zap, BOOM there she goes. Aliens done, Earth saved, and no more earthlings-fighting-earthlings.
Let's not forget the wonderful narrator, who feels the need to narrate about every action in the movie, even cutting over important dialogue. This technique was employed to expedite plot exposition, and it made the film very choppy.
In the end, the movie only runs 67 minutes, but it seem like 67 hours. Don't take this film seriously, and you might escape it without permanent damage. This movie is available on DVD, and an audio commentary by myself and my film crew should be available within the next month or two. I'll keep you posted.
No comments:
Post a Comment